Harleys day off
by Horrorfana
Summary: Before she joined the clown prince of crime, she was his psychiatrist. What happens when the joker decides that his doctor deserves a day off...whether she wants it or not?


Harleys day off

Harley desperately tried to stop nodding off at her kitchen table. She kept fading in and out as she was trying to finish going over the file yet again. She glanced at the clock and noted that it was only eleven. Harley sighed and realized that she had had a long day. Joker loose, police interviews, etc. She took another sip of her cup of tea and went back to their last session as she drifted asleep.

Two days ago.

Harley checked her watch yet again and looked down to see her foot tapping in anticipation. They had developed a nice system last week. He asked her a question and she asked him a question, that way she could get some noteworthy answers from him. She checked her watch again. Nine o one.

Where were they? The guards usually bring him in right at nine.

She rubbed her eyes and tried to relax.

Get ahold of yourself Harley, it's just another session. Forget about what happened last time. When he asked you the big question. 'Oh doc, do you have a crush on me?' It was such a silly question. Why didn't I just say no? Why did I pause and think? What's wrong with me? Thank goodness Larry was early to take him back to his cell. But what if he had come in a few minutes later? What would I tell him? Yes? No? Maybe? This is turning into a grade school love note, I just need to put it past me. He probably forgot all about it. Yeah, that's it. He won't even bring it up.

There's a light knock at the door and Harley quickly gets herself back together.

"Come in."

Larry opens the door with joker in tow. He sets joker down in a chair across from Harley in the plain white therapy room. Larry then handcuffs joker to the chair.

"If you need anything, just shout."

Larry begins to leave when Harley stops him.

"Where's Kyle?"

She knew she wasn't going to like the answer as soon as she saw the smile on jokers face.

"Probably still trying to mop him up off the floor."

Harley looked back to Larry with concern on her face.

"Your patient slammed his head into the wall until he was a pile of bloody mush. He was taking him to the cafeteria."

Harley gulps down the slight nausea that was rising in her throat. Larry leaves and locks the door. Harley turns to joker.

"Why did you kill one of the guards?"

"Because he made me angry."

"What did he do?"

"Do you remember yesterday at lunch?"

"I guess. I had a turkey sandwich and a coke."

"I don't mean what you ate. When you left the cafeteria."

"Um, let me think. I walked out, passed by you, went to my office, got some coffee."

"When you walked by he was staring at you."

"He was?"

"I didn't like the way he was staring at you. He had that look in his eyes."

"Why didn't I notice him staring?"

"It was once you passed us."

"Oh."

Harley thought back but couldn't remember hearing anything like a murder. She heard something. It was a low whistle. She assumed it had been joker.

"Did he whistle at me?"

"Until his face met the side of a wall."

"Um, wow I don't know what to say."

"Thank you would be nice."

"Thank you Mr j. I guess..."

Harley thought about what happened. She almost wanted to chuckle a little bit. The thought was outrageous. Guys stared at her all the time. This one was just stupid enough to be standing next to joker. She actually felt worse for the cleaning staff. That would have been a mess. She smiled a little at the thought of someone standing up for her. That usually didn't happen. Harley snapped back to the present and saw a smug smile on the jokers face.

"What is it?"

"You just called me mr j."

"I did?"

"Would I lie to you?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I like it."

Harley got herself back together and looked at her notes that were currently blank. That is until joker cleared his throat. Harley looked back at him.

"I believe it's my turn. Last time we were so rudely interrupted. I'm curious as to how you will answer. Do you have a crush on me, Harley? Remember to be honest."

Harley felt her face get red with embarrassment. Joker laughed and then looked at her with intrest.

"It is an unprofessional question."

"Well we haven't exactly been professional before so why start now?"

Harley took a deep breath.

Just answer honestly. He will laugh at you and then we can move on.

Joker looked a little annoyed.

"I'm waiting."

"The truth?"

"Well we are in therapy after all."

"Ok. Um, I know this is the single worst thing I could do as your therapist but, in the sense that I find you funny and I admire you, then yes."

Joker frowns.

"Thats it?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"It's just that I'm surprised that you don't find me charming or irrisistable. Not to mention that your holding back because you were redder than the wall yesterday."

"I was just taken aback that's all."

"Listen Harley, I know your lying to me. But I can't make you tell me seeing my current predicament. You want to know how much I like you?"

He winked at her and Harley smiled to herself.

I know I should be disgusted but I guess I'm just more flattered. Oh well, time to move on.

"So now it's my turn. Where did you grow up?"

"Here, stupid question."

Harley bit her lip. He was losing intrest. That wasn't good.

"Now it's my turn again. What's your favorite color?"

Harley paused. She hadn't thought about it in years.

"Red."

"I bet it would look good on you. Your pale enough to make it work."

Before Harley could ask another question the guard returned to take joker back to his cell.

Present day.

Harley yawned and woke up in her bed. She felt her pounding headache. She tried to sit up but felt too dizzy. She closed her eyes but realized to her horror.

Didn't I fall asleep in the kitchen?

She pushed herself to sit up and leaned against the wall by her bed for support. She grimaced in pain as her headache intensified. She rubbed it pointlessly.

How did I get back to bed? More importantly, why does my head hurt?"

Harley carefully slid to the side of her bed and tried to stay balanced. She then closed her eyes in pain and blindly reached around her bedside table for her cell phone.

What time is it? I'm probably late for work.

She then felt a sense of alarm when she couldn't find her phone. She opened her eyes and saw it wasnt there. She looked down and saw her charger was plugged in.

Think. Did you leave it in the kitchen? No. I plugged it in at eight right before I made myself some tea. So where is it?

Harley paused and heard a faint metalic sound.

What's that noise? Where have I heard it before?

Harley then tightly grips her bed and tries to stand up. She waits for her legs to stop shaking and then let's go of her bed. She then carefully walks to her bedroom door. She grips on to the doorway for support and walks to the direction of the noise. Slowly but surely she makes her way to the kitchen. The first thing to come into her view is the kitchen table.

What is going on? Where are my notes? Where is the file?

She walks to the table but falls into a seat to avoid hitting the ground. The table is clear. She tries to catch her breath as she looks around for the file. From another room joker emerges sharpening a kitchen knife.

"It's about time you woke up."

Harley freezes and turns around to see joker.

That's what that noise was.

"What happened? Why are you here?"

"Well Harley, I realized that you were holding back because you were stressed. So I decided that you needed a day off. Besides, you don't find me charming. I'll just have to change that."

"They will be looking for me."

"Not if you texted them that you were feeling sick."

"But I'm not sick."

"Judging by how much tea you drank last night, I'm amazed you can even stand."

"What was in the tea?"

"Sedatives. You drank enough to take down a horse."

Harley then realized how stupid she was for not suspecting anything the night before.

"You drugged me?!"

"Oh don't act so shocked, Harl. How else could I get you to cooperate with a day off?"

"What if I couldn't walk?"

"You can't exactly run a marathon right now but, if you couldn't walk, I simply would have moved things to the bedroom. We still can if you want."

"No!"

"Ok, relax. Today is about having some fun."

Harley tried to calm herself down.

This can't be happening! This is a nightmare! If my head didn't hurt it almost seemed possible. He is in my house! I can't even walk and he has a knife.

"W-what's the knife for?"

Joker stopped and looked down at the knife. He tossed aside the sharpener.

"Just some added security. Can't have you running down the street screaming your head off. But don't worry, I won't use it unless I have to, or you want me to."

Joker let's out a laugh and sets the knife on the counter.

Harley felt like she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

I'm going to die today. Or at the very least get horrible wounded. Either way today is going to be the worst day of my life.

Joker casually walked over to Harley and got down to her level smiling.

"Before we begin, you need to get changed into something more appropriate. I'll be right back."

Joker walked to harleys bedroom and returned with a red dress. He sets it on the table.

"I just knew you had a red dress. I'm curious as to how you look in red."

Harley tries to get up but struggles. Joker then reaches down and helps Harley to her feet. She grabs the dress and he helps her get to her room. He then let's go and leaves as she closes the door.

"Do you need any help?"

The flirtatious way he said it made Harley shudder.

"No! I'll be out in a minute."

Harley quickly got dressed and emerged from her room in a tight red dress.

I haven't worn this old thing in years. Harl, if you wanna get thru this, play along.

Joker smiled approvingly as he looked her over.

"What do you think?"

Harley did her best attempt at a sexy pose and joker burst out laughing.

"You look amazing my dear. Do you need help or can you walk?"

Harley paused and noted the strain it was on her legs. She also noted that her headache had been reduced to a light throb.

"I'm ok for now."

"Excellent. What do you say we get something to eat?"

"Sounds good."

Harley began slowly walking to the kitchen and joker slowed his pace to match hers. Harley walked over to the fridge but realized it was practically empty. She frowned and went to the cabinet. Nothing but tomatoes and soup. She grabbed a couple of cans and looked over to joker sitting at the table.

"Soup ok?"

"Fine by me."

Harley then got a couple of bowls and poured in the soup. She then put them in the microwave and started it. She leaned against the counter for support and noticed the knife was right next to her hand.

I could pick it up. Maybe if I hide it I could get away from him. But the million dollar question is, do I really want to? The answer? No. This is actually kind of fun.

The microwave stops and Harley carefully takes the bowls to the table. She sets them down and gets two spoons from a drawer. She reruns to the table and takes a seat next to the joker. He raises his eyebrows when she sits down. He relaxes and then begins to eat with Harley.

"You do look beautiful in that dress."

"Thank you joker."

"Please, I like what you called me the other day. Call me that."

"I don't know what your talking about."

"Don't play dumb."

Harley sighed.

"Thank you. Mr j."

Joker smiled.

"That's better. I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty of clearing the table. It was interesting to find you unconscious on top of my file. I thought you would have gone to bed once you started to feel the effects of the tea kicking in."

Harley continued to eat as the joker talked. He then picks up the file from under the table and sets in front of him. He opens it and turns to a page.

"Patient has unhealthy fixation on me..."

Harley swallows nervously. Unsure of what would be coming next.

"Patient asked about my feelings tword him, unsure how to respond."

Harley finished her soup and nervously began tapping her finger.

"Had dream about patient last night... Well well well Harley, you haven't exactly been honest now have you?"

Harley felt two things at that moment. The first was her cheeks getting redder than her dress. The second was the feeling of unsureness in the pit of her stomach.

"I never would have thought a file about me could make such fascinating reading material. Well, I've gotta give you credit. You are a very detailed writer."

Harley looked down at her empty bowl to avoid looking at him reading the file.

"I just might have to hold on to this page."

Joker closes it and sets it down. He then looks over at Harley and lifts her head up by her chin with his finger.

"Don't worry kiddo, your secrets safe with me."

Joker winks and Harley takes a deep breath. She sits back up and joker removes his hand from her chin.

"Can't we do something else mr j?"

"Of corse."

Joker gets up and pulls Harley up before she can try to get up by herself and pulls her close. Harley tries to figure out what is going on but gets her answer sooner.

"Let's go dancing."

"What?"

Joker spins Harley and pulls her back. She feels her knees almost giving out. Joker then tilts her back and kisses her. He pulls her back up.

"Well?"

"Your charming."

"Good to know. But that's not what I meant."

Harley kisses him and pulls back quickly.

"What am I doing?"

"Being honest for once."

He then grabs the back of her head a kisses her again. She grabs the back of his and returns it. He picks her up. He starts walking down the hallway to her room and she pulls back. Joker stops.

"What is it now?"

"Not today."

"Why not?"

"I need time to think."

"Ok but harl, it will be a little tricky during therapy. Although I'd love to see the look on ol Jerrys face..."

"Just give me some time."

"Fine. But let me know when your ready to take unprofessional to a new level."

Joker sets Harley down and she gets her balance.

"Are you going to add this to the file?"

"Of corse not. I should probably get rid of a few pages while I'm at it."

"Can I keep them?"

"If nobody else will find them, sure."

Joker kisses Harley.

"Well, sweets I gotta run. See you in therapy."

He then leaves her apartment and Harley sinks to the floor.

Today was a pretty good day after all.


End file.
